Man this sucks...

First last week everyone here at work was sick and I spent the majority of the week working alone. Which normally wouldn't be too bad except that right now we are smack in the middle of our radio auction and that makes a normal day like 3 or 4 days crammed into one. And now I am sick! I so wanted to stay home today, but there is way to much stuff that I do that would take me longer to explain to someone who doesn't normally do it, than to just do it myself. Besides I know how crazy it is to be trying to handle everything, so I couldn't do that to my boss. She is still trying to get over being sick. I haven't had time to do anything for the last couple weeks. I had so much email I didn't think I could even get through it all. Had to just delete the forwards without reading them. I hate to do that but I have to just to read the actual emails from people. And the boards...I barely have time to update the cycle list on the PCOS board, let alone read or reply to anything else. I miss everyone so much. And I know I am missing out on so much, but I just don't have time to spend my lunch hour catching up anymore (work through lunch most of the time, not on purpose but that is just how it goes). And by the time I get home I just want to get done what I need to and just sit in front of the tv doing nothing the rest of the time (which really isn't long). And now that I am sick, I would just like to sleep all the time. But there isn't enough time! Well anyways that is what is up with me. I really need to get back to work now. Maybe I can cross my fingers and pray hard enough and I can get everything done so I can leave a little early anyways...

Guess who is visiting me??

If you said AF then you guessed right! I am a bit disappointed but not devastated like I have been in the past. I am however hoping that Donny's dream was more of a premonition than just wishful thinking floating around in his sleeping mind. So maybe this time next month I will be on here celebrating a BFP! Hey hoping is what gets us through the day right? Speaking of hoping...I am hoping that since my lining was only 1 when I went for the u/s that it means AF won't be here long this time. I mean at 1 how much can I have to shed??

Wednesday's I have this ritual with a friend of mine. She comes and picks me up and we head into town to have supper and go shopping (and some weeks she gets her nails done). Sometimes it is shopping for necessities and sometimes it is just plain shopping to shop. So last night we go to the mall to get her nails done and we decided to go to the Fashion Bug. On our way back to the exit nearest her vehicle we had to pass Claire's...and to my happy surprise...they are having a sale! 10 items off the sale racks and table for $5!! So I got a new necklace, 4 pairs of earrings, and five new hair clips...all for only 50 cents each!!! And I am talking nice stuff...not the stuff that you are thinking should have been 50 cents to begin with! LOL!! Well lunch is more than over so I best get back to work. Since I am working alone because everyone is sick it is hard to get anything done!

~Melody

I have decided...

That I really like having a blog. I get to get things off my chest, voice opinions, and all that stuff we need to do. I know I can do that on the message boards, but often times I hold back because I don't want to talk about myself and my views all the time. So this way I can talk about it all I want but only people who are interested in what I have to say have to hear it. Well read it I guess! LOL. Is it acceptable to leave comments on someone's blog? I mean I realize you can, but how do you know if the person really wants you to? I don't mind if someone wants to comment on mine. But I am always unsure whether I should comment on someone else's blog or personally email my comment to them. Someone help me?!?!?

Speaking of the boards...I have been mostly just lurking, I am not feeling much like posting these days. I don't really have a reason. Well maybe it's because I am not feeling very postitive when it comes to TTC. And I don't want anyone to be able to get that from anything I type. There are way too many ladies early enough into TTC that they still need that positive attitude and comments, because it is very possible to over come any problems with TTC early on. And I don't want to be the one that makes them feel like it isn't possible. They need to hear success stories...not unsuccess stories. Like ours.

Something you learn...as time goes by it gets less likely. And I am at that point now. I am at the point where I have decided that I have a lot of other things in life to worry about. Yeah I want to be pregnant more than almost anything right now. But I am learning to be grateful for what I have. I have a loving husband, a nice home, a great job, and plenty of friends and family who love me. If a pregnancy isn't in our future then really there isn't anything I can do about it. We have done what is in our power (and pocketbook!) and if it isn't going to work then so be it. Time to concentrate on other things. Like all my unfinished projects! LOL. Not to mention Spring Cleaning is about upon us and I really need to get the house cleaned top to bottom.

Well I best get back to lurking on the boards so I can at least read some posts before my lunch hour is up. Or I might just go ahead and get back to work since I have to leave early today...

~Melody

A dream...

So last night as we are driving home from the wedding my dear sweet husband says to me "Honey don't get your hopes up, but I had a dream. I dreamed that you were pregnant." Now I thought that only women had that dream. I haven't even had the dream that I was pregnant. I have had dream of being in the middle of labor before though. LOL. I think if he would have had that dream he would have called it a nightmare! LMAO. But anyways I thought it was the neatest thing that he dreamed I was pregnant. I guess that means having a baby is most definitely on his mind as much as it is on mine. So it confirms we are most definitely on the same page and have the same amount of desire to have a baby. It is very reassuring actually. But then again I should have already known how much he wanted to be a daddy...becuase when he decides to do something there is nothing halfway about it. Now if his dream would just become a reality very soon!

~Melody

Okay it sounds weird I know...

I went to my stepdad's wedding last night. I know that technically once my stepdad and mom got divorced he was no longer my dad. But considering he and my mom were married for almost 19 years...and I have known his since I was about 6 years old...shutting the door is not acceptable to me. So last night we went to his Valentine's wedding. It was simple and a bit chaotic considering we were joining two families that had pretty much never met. She has five kids (and I am not sure how many grandkids three or four), and there are three of us and three grandkids, so we were a pretty large group for pictures. We couldn't stay long since it was a weeknight and I had to work this morning. They are having a large full reception sometime in May so that family farther away, that couldn't make it for a Monday night wedding, can come. My sister's husband didn't come because he and my stepdad don't get along (I think it is somewhat because my stepdad is only a couple years older than him) so the pictures seemed off balance YKWIM? My nephews were as adorable as ever. I got a big sloppy kiss from my 2 and a half year old nephew when I went to leave. Which is a first for mouth on mouth kiss from him. Usually I just get a kiss on my cheek with much pushing from his daddy to kiss Aunt Melody. LOL. He talks clearer and clearer every day. Take for instance that in the middle of the ceremony he very clearly and loudly says "I have to go pee!". LMAO. My 15 month old nephew just wanted us to put him down. He no doubt was eyeing anything he could get his hands on! And he obviously didn't like the new purple shirt I got my sister for her birthday...he thought it needed a little red...as he reached out and stuck his hand in the red frosting on the cake and then rubbed it on sis's shirt! I just hope it comes out! Poor sis was trying to stay situated in the pictures so that hopefully the red frosting wouldn't show. LOL. All in all the night went well. And of course I am sure I will have to replay every detail I can to my mom. She is pretty unhappy about the whole thing, including us attending. Which is silly since after all she is the one that left him. There are some things in life that I guess are never meant to be understood...

~Melody

I never thought...

That I would enjoy being on a break from the pressures of TTC! I was so devastated when I found out that I had to stop the meds and not schedule anymore IUIs until my lining is thicker and my cyst goes away. But now I am actually enjoying not having to remember to take meds everday, and not having to have sex on a schedule. It's like the pressure is gone and I can breathe again. Not to mention our sex has been awesome. It's like a lot has been lifted off of us. As much as we want to have a baby, I think this break is very good for us. We can sit and rethink what is really the most important thing...and that's us. If we aren't strong and happy, what's the point of having a baby. So I am once again reminded that everything happens for a reason. The thin lining and cyst were what happened and the reason was so that we could get back to enjoying each other! Never underestimate the power of just letting things be as they are meant to be.

Well as far as other life events...I kept both my nephews last week. My brother's boy is going to be 3 this summer and my sister's boy just turned 1 at Thanksgiving. So it was interesting to keep them both all night (the same night!). I had a lot of fun and learned a lot about the difference between the kids those two ages. My older nephew doesn't get in to everything like the younger one...but he doesn't go to bed quite as early either! LOL. On the plus side he sleeps in, the younger one...wakes up early! All in all it was a fun visit and I hope to keep them again soon. My step dad is getting remarried on Monday. It's weird to say that. I can't believe it. He and mom have only been divorced for 10 months! But he says it is because his fiancee is an old girlfriend, not someone he just met. But I mean come on...he hasn't be around her for over 20 years...people change IYKWIM. You can't just pick up how things were 20 years ago! But in order to keep the peace I am not saying anything and I will be attending the ceremony. Which I am sure will make my mom not happy. But geez he has been my stepdad for 20 years.

Well best get off of here so I can get some other stuff done before my lunch break is up...

~Melody

Officially on a break...

Well my ultrasound (last week) said that my lining was once again too thin. So we met with the Fertility Doctor on Monday and he said until it thickens up we aren't having anymore IUIs. Plus I have a large cyst on my right ovary and until it is gone no more IUIs. They said the Clomid (fertility medicine) is what caused my lining to thin. It was 7 when we did the IUI and now it is only 1. So I am off all meds until it thickens again. Hopefully it won't be too long and the lining will be thicker and the cyst gone. I am hoping the cyst doesn't rupture. I have been told that can be pretty painful.

We are in the middle of our Annual Radio Auction at work and that is very time consuming. Some days I don't even remember my own name! LOL. My days are going by quickly on the plus side. Well speaking of time going by quickly...lunch is up. So guess that is it for now...

~Melody