Less than a week...

Well I am getting super excited...less then a week and I get to see Baby X again and find out if it is boy or a girl. I have been driving Donny crazy saying she...LOL. I swear it isn't intentional, it is just coming out that way. So I think our little Baby X is a girl! :) Even though everyone else (with the exceptions of my SIL and my nephews-which I think my SIL trained them to say they think it's a girl! LOL) think it's a boy. The countdown is on...and then we will know who is right! I can't wait because we are going to start the nursery and getting stuff for the baby as soon as we know. I still haven't felt her move....at least I don't think so. I get a lot of sensations in my lower stomach area but I am never sure if it is her or gas or what. I suppose if it was her I would know. Noone can explain really how it feels when the baby first starts moving, so I guess I will wait until she is moving enough that I know it's her. She spends most of her time on the left side because it is always hard on left side more than the right. Sometimes I can press on the left side for awhile, and then a little later when I press it isn't hard anymore but it is hard by my belly button, so I must be annoying her enough she is moving. I don't think the next week can go fast enough!!!

This morning at 6:30 am our phone rang. I was thinking "who the hell is calling us at this time?" Well it was Ashley! She was so drunk and calling me to come get her out of jail. She apparently got arrested for public intoxication and interference with official acts...not that she could remember that, the officer had to get on the phone and tell me that is what she was arrested for and that she needed $98 to get out. I told him that she called the wrong person, that I wasn't sure why she called me, because I wasn't coming to get her out. She was so drunk that when I asked her where David was (the guy she has been with since everything happened), she said she didn't know but did I have his number so she could call him? OMG, seriously that is how drunk she was. When I told her I had to go because I had to get to work she said "Oh isn't it Sunday?". So obviously she is getting worse instead of better. I told her I thought she needed to stay there and sleep it off. Then I repeated I wasn't coming to get her and that I had to go. So she said goodbye and hung up. Oh she did tell me she called Jerry too....as if he is going to come get her any faster than I would. I guess she doesn't have any friends, because if you have to resort to calling your exhusband and the ex friend who you had an affair with her husband. It's sad really.

Donny had this sudden light bulb come on Saturday night and he told me that he and his online girlfriend (Amy) decided I was right and they were being out of line and inappropriate. That I had all the right in the world to be upset. HELLO! What I don't understand is why I wasn't right until they decided I was?? He said no more hiding things from me, that I can read all his chats, and if I see anything inappropriate then I just have to say something and he will not say it again. While I wish I could just believe that he is sincere, I am still cautious. And whether he deletes certain chats or not...I will know what he is doing, he just doesn't know it. I have decided to stick it out at home until the baby is born and see what happens. If he keeps walking the straight line then I will be coming home with the baby. But if he doesn't then I will be going to my stepdad's with the baby. From the minute he goes back to his bad behavior I will begin making plans on what needs packed and such. Then by the time the baby comes I will be ready to go. I will not raise our child in a home where that kind of deceit is occuring. So that is my plan.

~Melody

3rd OB Appointment.

It went really really well. I haven't gained any weight since the last appointment four weeks ago. This time when she put the doppler on my stomach it picked up the baby's heartbeat right away. She hardly even had to move it and there it was! It was the most comforting sound. It was 163 this time. We set up my ultrasound for June 29th at 1 pm to hopefully found out if we are having a boy or a girl!! I am so excited I can't wait. I hope these next three weeks go super fast!! Tomorrow I am going to look at some baby stuff that is being sold at a sale on Saturday. Because I am friends with someone that is friends with the group they said I could buy whatever I want tomorrow! They have a homemade oak changing table for only $25. I am hoping it is nice because I really want a changing table but don't want to spend a fortune on it. Once we found out if the baby is a girl or boy I will start sorting stuff that has been given to me over the years and getting the nursery in order.

Now if things with he and I were so good. But they are not. He has been carrying on with some woman on his yahoo messenger. Nothing in person, but I read a chat conversation he didn't get deleted out of his message archive and it really upset me. His response was to change his password to his yahoo account. I have always known his passwords. He has never had anything to hide. I am extremely upset and he is handling the whole thing by not talking about it. He wants to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. He thinks because he keeps telling me how much he loves me and keeps being loving that it is okay. He thinks because he hasn't done anything physcially with her it is okay...it was just a conversation. He isn't getting that by changing his password he is keeping secrets and that keeping secrets like that isn't something a marriage is supposed to have. But the worst part is the fact that he won't talk about it with me. He won't acknowledge we have a problem. I am at the end of my rope. If he won't tell me what is going on with him, and he continues these secrets then I have no choice but to seperate from him. I can not continue to live this way.

~Melody