The feeling when something is going to happen and you can't stop it!

I am so afraid of tomorrow. Tomorrow is his day off of work. And while I am sitting here at work, he will be all alone with her just across the street. It really scares me. I don't think he is strong enough to resist the urge to go over and check on her. Her husband made a comment to me the other night (yeah he finally called me!)...he said she is always looking for a hero. And I think that is what Donny is being to her right now...her hero. He is saving her whenever she needs saved. And I think in the same way he enjoys being her hero. I am strong so he doesn't feel like I need a hero. I don't think the affair is about sex now...it's about her being needy and him enjoying the feeling of being needed by her. I try to make him see that I need him, but for some reason he can't get past the fact that I am strong. I guess that being strong is not always the best of traits, because people take for granted that you never need anyone, that you are always strong enough to handle anything. And then when you aren't strong enough and you do need them, they don't realize it.

I have a this horrible feeling tomorrow will be a day of set backs. And I don't think there is anything I can do to avoid it. I can demand he go somewhere else for the day, but he probably won't. He thinks he is strong enough to not go over there, but he isn't. I don't want him to be mad at me for doubting his ability to stay away from her, but I think he is still to weak to handle it himself, and I will be at work. So I think he will go over there, and of course when I get home I will know. And he won't deny it. And it is likely to start a whole new fight about an old subject...him and her remaining friends. He will want to and I will say No. And thus the fighting begins.... It's a vicious circle that never ends.

I so want to go home tonight and make love to him. And show him what we have is all he needs in all aspects. But since my stupid period is never ending that can not happen. But I will do whatever I can to make him see me...and not her. To make him stronger for tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be such a hard day.....

~Melody