This week has been so crazy. He has been back home living since last Friday night. Monday she told me that it was over between them. That no matter what happened between her and her husband she didn't want to be with Donny. Well I told him that and he was upset. But then he said a light bulb came on and he realized she was just using him and that he shouldn't ever talk to her again. We had a very nice breakthrough in him talking to me. And he cried. The next day he said he felt so much better after talking and crying. Well he didn't see or talk to her until....after she got off work Wednesday morning (after 2 am). He went over to her place while I slept. He isn't sleeping in our bed with me, so I had no idea. Granted he told me himself about it Wednesday evening, but still he snuck around to go do it. Wednesday evening he informed me that while we have been doing better, his plans are still that we are just friends. I can't seem to get across to him that we aren't just friends, we are married. But it falls completely out of his scope of reason. Thursday we had a good day. I took the whole day off of work to go with him to some dr. appts. We had fun and laughed alot. Then Thursday night he said some horrible things to me and was a complete asshole. Then when I woke up at 12:30 to our power going on and off...I discovered his intentions to go see her again! Which he did. He was gone for almost 2 and a half hours, maybe longer. I finally called and told him he needed to get back because he had to work. Well when he got back we got in a huge fight about him still seeing her. And he told me no matter what I say that isn't changing. That what is going on with him and I is best said like this. We were a bridge and the bridge exploded and now he is standing in the water trying to decided whether to rebuild or not. Then when I got mad about something he said that I should probably just go look for another bridge! UGH! I think his analogy should be that he blew up the bridge!
I am really hurting right now because I know that he thinks she is better than me. And he is not going to put me or my feelings above hers. He no longer acts like my husband or like he loves me, even though he says he does. I have done some major thinking today. And I have come to some decisions. And this time it will be on my terms...
~Melody
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6 comments:
Mel, Im sorry to hear he is still seeing her even after everything she told you. Maybe they wanted you to think that they wouldn't be seeing each other anymore so you would feel better.
with this going on and on like this you will never be able to heal.
Since he is still adamant about seeing her I think you should put your foot down and stop all this nonsense.
You don't deserve this. You deserve sooo much better and shouldn't have to live in all this chaos.
Good Luck Mel!
~Ashlea
I hope you have a nice holiday and are able to enjoy your time with your family without Donny.
I really liked the end of your post..how it was going to be on your terms, etc. GOOD FOR YOU! You are an AWESOME girl and screw him! It makes me so mad to read he said such hurtful things to you...I'm sure he's doing it on purpose to push you away..so you'll leave him alone when he says ignorant, hurtful things. You are 3x the woman that slut is and he is missing out on the best thing in his world! Oh well, some people are idiots and don't realize what they've lost and that person is fed up and gone. Hopefully he'll see the light..If not, any other man would be lucky to have you!
Stick to your guns girl! He is trying to treat you like a doormat. Sounds like he thinks he can come and go as he pleases and you'll be there waiting. I know you can't stop loving him despite what he's done but you have to decide who you love more, him or yourself!
Mel, I dont know if you remember me or not but I am on po.org with you and you are just so nice and sweet. You really dont deserve this. Im so sad for you, please know that you have an enormous amount of strength and you can do what ever is necessary. Hugs Mel.
Melody,
I hope that you had an enjoyable holiday and that you have been able to stick to your guns. I have been thinking of you and praying for healing to your heart
Mel, I agree with what everyone says. My sister has a loser boyfriend. She won't marry him because she knows he's a loser. She has two kids from him. She feels like even though he is horrible she'd rather horrible than nothing or her kids without their father. Personally I'd rather be alone than to be so mistreated and to have my kids neglected and abused like that. This is the power of love. It can make you stick to someone like glue even if it is a horrible relationship. What would you tell my sister? Think about that. Tell yourself outloud exactly what you would tell my sister to do. They've been together 12 years and he has never worked. He drinks. He sleeps all day and parties all night. The problems might be different than yours but the nature of the problem is irrelevant. I can't begin to tell you what trash he is and she knows what he does is wrong. What would you tell her??
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