A Beautiful Day...

Okay so the title doesn't really have too much to do with the actual blog for the day...but it is really a beautiful day outside. And of course by the time Saturday gets here it will be not so beautiful outside again. The beautiful days are always when I am stuck inside! At least I have huge windows around me too look out while I work.

I have been feeling better lately. I am realizing that I can remind myself about the affair to stay focused on the fact that he did make a mistake and that I need to keep in mind there is always the chance he could do it again, and that while I have to be cautious of that fact...I don't have to let it ruin the happy times we are having. I know that the middle ground has to be where I stay grounded. That yes, he had an affair and it hurt like hell but now he is with me and he is being my husband again. I can believe him when he says he won't ever do it again, while still realizing that I have to protect myself emotionally in case it does happen again. It's like this juggling act that one has to learn to balance. And I am getting better at it!

I still haven't started my period. And I have now moved on to looking my hardest for signs that would indicate I am pregnant and not just suffering from a body that doesn't know what it is doing. I will put myself out of my misery this weekend and take a HPT. I hate spending money on them to just see one line staring back at me...shoot I would hate to see the one single line staring back at me if I got the test for free! But there are certain things in my lifestyle that tell me that I need to know for sure I am not pregnant. Like the fact that I usually take green tea pills to help with my diet and hunger (which I have not been taking in case) and the fact that I am a social drinker (which I too have been avoiding for the last three weeks). I have been letting my mind wonder towards the fact that I could be pregnant...and how things would be. I can see in my mind the moment I see two lines on the HPT and the moment I tell him. I can see everything. And it's probably a bad thing. I am going to get my self all excited and happy only to be disappointed. I mean that is what has happened everytime my period is late...for almost three and a half years now. You would think that a person would get used to it after that long...but you never do.

Onto a happier note...I have been working on a scrapbook for a friend's little baby boy...who was born a couple weeks ago and is hopefully out of the hospital today!! He was born a bit preemie...he weighed over five pounds but his lungs needed some help at first. I have been buying stuff off of Ebay to make his book and I am so excited to be getting the last of the stuff I bought-hopefully by this weekend. My plan is to work on it Saturday. I really need to get it done and to them...since they no doubt already have a bunch of pictures they are ready to put in it!!! Plus I need to get it done so I can get back to my wedding book!!

So what do you think about my new blog set-up? I have been having fun with graphics lately on the message boards so I thought I would try to figure out how to use HTML to liven up my blog. I am pretty proud of it so far....

~Melody