Setting myself up for a heartbreak??

I am so afraid that is what I am doing. Here I am at CD 34 and 17 DPO. And I feel good about it because I haven't had any signs of AF at all. No cramps nothing. But I just feel like it is too good to be. And I am afraid I am reading too much into stuff and in the end that is what it is going to be...just reading too much into nothing. For instance Tuesday morning at 4 am I wokeup not being able to breathe because of the acid in my throat and mouth. That is the worse acid reflux I have ever had my entire life...it even made me throw up. Last night at Walmart I got dizzy bending over and back up from looking at some makeup on a low shelf. Today I wasn't hungry for my breakfast bar like normal (between 9 and 10) so at 11 I ate it anyways, figuring it wasn't good to not eat it since lunch only consists of a rice cake (my diet). But within an hour of eating it, I felt nauseous. So I skipped the lunch time rice cake. And honestly I think my pee smells funny. But of course pretty much everything I am thinking could mean I am pg...could also be attibuted to something else totally un-pg related. Everytime I find myself thinking this is finally it...I remind myself how crushed I am probably going to be, because I am probably not pg. I mean I am not the exactly the queen of regular cycles. This could be one of those no-ovulation cycles. Or one of those cycles where AF just wants to take her time showing up.

So at this point I am petrified of testing in the morning. But I know I need to so that I know. Otherwise I won't know how to celebrate the 4th. But let me tell you if that test is BFN...I don't know how I will get through the 4th. Because this time I know I am going to be more devastated than I ever have...

~Melody

P.S. On the hopefully plus side...Donny is "supposedly" going to hear tonight who got the job. Not holding my breath on them announcing it, let alone on him getting it.