Disappointment once again...

Well Wednesday I went in for the ultrasound for this cycle. I got lucky in that I got to do the ultrasound locally and not have to travel 2 hours in the crappy crappy weather. But all they found was one large follicle that was 2.5 cm and one that was only 9 mm. My doctor at the fertility clinic said that the big one was too big and the smaller one too small. I can't win! :( Plus he said my uterian lining was too thin. All in all that means no IUI this time. :( Which according to the fertility doctor is probably a good thing because he didn't think I could have made it to his clinic for the IUI because of the weather. To which Donny said to me "I would have gotten us there no matter what...even if we had to leave 6 hours before out appt!". That is my sweet husband! :) It really is disappointing to have to skip a month between the IUIs. But all we can do is hope that February heeds better results.

I never thought that getting pregnant would be this much work. I thought throw away the birth control and wham we would be pg. And here we are in our 25th month of birth control free sex...and no baby. I do good most days, but some days I feel sorry for myself and want to cry all day. I suppose that is normal. But I hate it just the same. I keep thinking that surely it has to get easier...but so far it hasn't. I do know that I am so very lucky to have Donny as my husband. He will do pretty much anything to get pregnant. We'll see what he thinks when I tell him one of my friends offered her egg and body to be a surrogate for us! LOL. I wonder how that works. I mean the fertility doctor told us that we could use a sperm donor (that was when we thought the blunt of the problem was Donny's low count and bad morphology.) but that it had to be anonymous. I wonder if we can just go pay for an IUI with Donny's sperm being inserted in my friend?? Crazy I know...but we really want to be parents. And having a child created by our genes together isn't a necessity to be a parent.

Well to throw an extra monkey wrench in my disorganized life...my home computer is having issues and refuses to load my desktop, so I can't do anything on it. Which means the only time I can put entries here is from work. And the only time I really want to do that is when noone is around (like now). So crossing my fingers that my genious co-worker can fix it for me (when he finally gets here!). I can't even work on my wedding scrapbook, which is my therapy right now! What a bummer! :(

Well guess that is about all of my complaining for now...